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 Urgent prayers needed for Jago please View next topic
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Fran
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 12:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Others have already said everything ....just sending you both hugs and love xx
Fran and Polly xx
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ahj
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 3:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I read that "Grief is the price we pay for love". How immensely you loved Jago.
I hope in time your grief lessens into happier memories of your lives and times together. Xx
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Heidiwuff
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I didn't know I could cry for someone else's dog however beloved, but I was wrong. Feels like I've lost one of mine. You and James gave him a truly wonderful life, he knew what it was to be loved and cherished with his own devoted family; no dog could ask for more. Please don't beat yourself up, you had no way of knowing what lay ahead that night. I've been thinking about you since your first post and wishing I could do something to ease the grief. Its said that its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved, but there are times when I've questioned that and I imagine you are too.

xx

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Scruffymuffins
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 5:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I couldn’t post until now because I had to wait until I got home from work Crying or Very sad like everyone else I’m in tears for you Crying or Very sad sorry I can’t find the words but am thinking of you both and sending love. Xx

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suec
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 5:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

CJ I don't know you but I read about your boy on Facebook and my heart breaks for you. 18 years ago this month we lost a Beardie boy in a tragic accident, so I know some of what you are feeling now.

I too blamed myself and I know nothing anyone says will stop you feeling that way at the moment but just as other's have said it was an awful accident and absolutely not your fault. You won't think this now but in time you will.

I couldn't speak to people either but just like you used a Beardie email group as a way to put how I was feeling into words. It helped a lot, so please continue to do that. Its clear you have very very many friends waiting to support you.

I really just wanted to say that it will get easier, the awful memories you have now will fade and be replaced by happy ones.

Please look after yourself and let your friends be there for you.

Sue
xx
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Sandownbeardie
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What a lovely message Sue. Welcome to the group too!

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Cornish Cleo
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That was indeed a lovely and very generous post, Sue. I an very touchrd that you have joined our forum to try to help me and give me encouragement that this WILL get easier, because right now it doesn't feel that way.

It's not just the fact we've lost our precious boy, but the awful unexpected violence of it that will haunt me forever.

I don't know what I'd do right now without my FBC family. Thank you all xx

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Last edited by Cornish Cleo on Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:55 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Gerrie
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

XXXXXX

Welcome lovely Sue xx

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Sulynbourne
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thinking of you and James CJ xx
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Barbs
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:36 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

While I was struggling to find the right words, SueC’s (welcome Sue x) post just seemed so perfect and cleared my saddened brain a tiny bit. Unforseeable accidents are just that – so tragic and painful but could happen to any of us, and you are in no way to blame. It must be so hard, but I hope that with time you can put aside the images that haunt you, as they are not representative of the wonderful life you shared with Jago and everything you did to put him first. It isn’t the way he would want you to remember him and I’d like to think that the important special memories will prevail to bring you comfort. This group are so brilliant in their caring and understanding – unburden away as you face the difficult times ahead, everyone will be here for you. Take care and be kind to yourselves, you were the best Mum and Dad that Jago could have wished for. Just feel so deeply for your loss and heartache xxx
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The Pimms Queen
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Can only echo what everybody else has said CJ & James. You are both in my thoughts constantly. xxxx

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Nicky
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 8:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I havent been on here for so long, I have finally sorted out my password out so just thought I would say I am so sorry and thinking of you.

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Threebeards
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 9:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

CJ YOU ARE NOT BEING A BURDEN!!!!

I think it helps more, to write down your feelings.

Anytime you want to just do it, we'll be here for you.xxxx

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MeganB
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh CJ. I am totally devastated for you. I want to say the right things to help ease your pain but I feel so saddened for your loss. It seems brutally unfair to you and James. Life can be so so viciously unkind sometimes. Please dont ever feel like you are burdening us in any way. This place is a community that you can always go to and always come back to. There will always be someone to listen. Always someone who cares and no matter what you are going through, here we all are to lend an ear. It's the least we can do.

We share a special love for not just dogs but for a breed who are so intelligent, caring and more human than any other dog I've ever known -it's only right that they should have such an emotional affect on us and leave an achingly large lump in our throats and hole in our hearts, when they leave.

Sending you love and kindness.

Xxx

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Gerrie
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I completely see how “that image” would burn itself into your minds PTSD can appear after emotional shock. Keep in your mind that he was pleased to see you, had cheese and tummy tickles, felt comfy and drowsy and went to sleep.
Wish I could give you peace xxx

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sallyb
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 10:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

CJ, my guess is you will have had many "conversations" with Jago? Perhaps writing him a letter & then reading it out loud to him when the time is right ,will help you to focus on those deep feelings you wish you could show Jago now. Just get the paper & let the pen freeflow.
It will probably be painful but it is cathartic.
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JulieC
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 10:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

CJ, it has taken great courage to share your dreadful experience and I think that none of us would want you to feel that you are burdening us with your devastating loss. Look how everyone has returned to support you in your time of need, surely if they had not wanted to try to take some of that burden by providing support when you needed to communicate what happened, then we would not have "shown" our faces.

I think you need to have in mind that you might need professional help to make sense of what has happened, and how to move on. You must not make yourself ill, you need to be able to move on and allow positive memories of your beautiful boy, Jago to be in your head.

Take each day one step at a time.

Julie xxx

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Cornish Cleo
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 1:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thank you so much everyone.

If there is one good thing to emerge out of this ghastly nightmare, it is that this awful trauma which our boy suffered seems to have brought FBCers together again.

We have brought our boy up country for the family to say their goodbyes, before he is laid to rest, alongside Murdoch, in his beloved Cornwall. Then we are going to take a couple of days away to try to come to terms with things, somewhere that we are not constantly facing reminders of him, or expecting to see him, or be mobbed by him. Jago's biggest fault was that he loved too well.

Right now we need to be able to stop crying and beating ourselves up, even if just for the odd hour or two - baby steps.

I can't emphasise enough that it's not his loss that we are having difficulties with, of course that is immense, but we all know that grief is the price we have to pay for having them in our lives. It is the sheer violence of his passing that will haunt us forever.

I would also like to thank the chatster girls for their lovely plant. Such a nice thought and much appreciated. I will get into chat to thank you properly when I am feeling a little stronger.

Everyone has been so kind and supportive and you are all helping to ease our pain, if only a little. Thank you all.

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judy g
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 1:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

xx

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Remembering all those we have loved xx
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Gerrie
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 1:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Have pm’d you. XXX

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kathryn
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 2:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

CJ, It will help you and James to get away, when we lost Megan, we to went away and we filled our days with places where we would never have been able to go with her.
I am sure that we all have that image of Jago in our minds now when we think of him and it is horrific and we also know how we to would feel, like you say the Violence of it all. It is all so easy for us to say, don't blame yourselves and try and get the images out of your head, only time will do that.
Fill your heart and head with images of Jago when he was having fun, being silly, being naughty, being cheeky, happy days on the boat with the wind in his hair, you have thousands of photos of him, even if not printed they are there in your head, 10yrs of a Happy fullfilled life.
Write them down, talk about them, some people on here have even been lucky enough to share his happy days. Use these days to help you to heal xxxx
We will all be here for you, to listen to and share your pain and hopefully laugh with you.

Xxxxx

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Heidiwuff
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 4:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Beautifully put Kathryn. Thinking of you and James CJ. I imagine just about everyone on FBC is too. Hugs.

xx
Mary

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Sandownbeardie
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 4:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I have read every post and every inspirational and compassionate word on this sad thread. If love can see you through CJ, this is the place to be for sure .
You are ALL amazing!
x

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Wongie
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 5:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Just wanted you to know am thinking of you and like you say you just need to take baby steps but hopefully the horrible thoughts will fade and in its place the funny silly love filled antics of Jago will come , you are still in shock and it is still so raw but please know we are all thinking of you xx
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Nina07
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2018 5:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Yes it's a very good idea to go away for a few days, a change of environment, even if for a short time, will do you good. "Baby steps" is what is necessary right now until you feel strong enough for bigger ones... Thinking of you very much.

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