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The Poem Man
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Joined: 26 Dec 2010
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Location: Redruth. Cornwall.

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 4:37 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy I got the idea for this poem when I was at a very boring companion dog show where the judge took so long with each class that the show seemed to go on forever. Smile Smile Smile Smile




JUDGE SLOWCOACH.


We had the slowest judge in Christendom at our local companion Dog Show.
His hobby was obviously watching paint dry, his judging was slower than slow.

He took two hours and a bit on Best in Show and just Four pedigree classes.
When he said "stand your dogs" the dogs were so tired they all sat down on their ...A..???

It was just the same in the novelty section, there were twenty one classes in all.
Most judges get through these fun classes in no time but not this meticulous fool.

Waiting for his decision was absolute agony, melodramatic boredom at it's worst.
When it came to judging "most appealing eyes" he made them walk a triangle first.

Soon story's and jokes about Judge Slowcoach were flying around thick and fast.
Someone said he had run in the London Marathon and naturally he had finished last.

He had started on Sunday and finished on Friday, by the light of the moon.
He had been overtaken by that guy in the divers suit, on Thursday afternoon.

A rumour went around that it had taken him three hours to drive to the show today.
Knowing him, that sounded quite believable as he lives almost two miles away.

Then I heard that he was so slow it took him Fifty five minutes to boil an egg.
I didn't believe that one, he couldn't do it that fast, someone was pulling my leg.

So the show went on and on, and on, and on and on.
Many hours later he got to the last class but by then everyone had gone.

So if you ever fancy going to a Judge Slowcoach show, think about it, I urge you, and then.
Forget about it, it will be so late when you get home, you will even miss News At Ten.


Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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J.D.O'BRIEN (The Poem Man.)

May the Beardie Bounce be with you always and may all your good dreams come true.
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Jacquietwig
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Joined: 20 Apr 2011
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Location: East Kent, UK

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 5:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Laughing Laughing very good Jo, I've seen some of those Laughing Laughing Laughing

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The Poem Man
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Joined: 26 Dec 2010
Posts: 1570
Location: Redruth. Cornwall.

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Thanks Jacquie there are a few of them around. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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J.D.O'BRIEN (The Poem Man.)

May the Beardie Bounce be with you always and may all your good dreams come true.
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Threebeards
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Joined: 11 Dec 2008
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Location: Westport - New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Nov 29, 2017 5:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing Laughing Very good Joe, I've experienced a few of those myself! Rolling Eyes

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The Pimms Queen
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 30, 2017 10:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great poem Joe, been to shows like that but it's fine if you've got good company to help pass the time! Wink Very Happy xx

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Angie, Alfie, Flynn & Dylan

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